Bad laws and windows into men’s souls.

Queen Elizabeth first learned, after her sister fried protestants that you cannot open a window into men’s souls. Policy makers, monarchs, politicians, they all learn this eventually, Here is what equality legislation cannot do:

It cannot impact someone’s perception

It cannot cover people’s right to association

It cannot cover how people identity themselves

It cannot control thought

It cannot override sexual preference

It cannot override sexual boundaries.

It cannot remove anyone’s right, ability, or tendency to risk assessmenty.

If this is hwat you think gender recognition law or ewquality legislation can do you will abuse and harm women.

Any law which attempted to do this would fail, very quickly, because the rest of our legal frameworks would kill it. It would not be a basis for any type of sustainable rights, and any belief that legislation could do this, is nothing more than an indicator you need to reflect on the limitations of your own identity.

Equality legislation is recognition equality is contested, it can cover how you are treated in limited places, by your employer, by businesses, by services. That is it. Nothing more. Nothing. Gender recognition, can also do this, but cannot go further. Equality legislation and gender recognition legislation cannot be used to make sure your identity is validated and it cannot override other law or any of these things.

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Helen Pidd

I am writing to demand that you apologise to the family of the victims of Lauren Jeska and the athletics clubs she ran for. It was not acceptable for you to describe a brutal premeditated double stabbing, linked to amateur athletics clubs children use, staffed by people who it turns out literally gave their lives, as a warning for transphobia.

You do irreparable harm to trans women when you minimise a brutal double attempted murder. You conflated trans rights with the right to murder. Lauren Jeska was well known to be trans and got no trouble for it in Todmorden and how dare you suggest she was justified in a premeditated attempted double murder. How dare you do that to trans women. How dare you do that to the victims of those attempted murders and how dare you do that to those families and to the people for whom their hobby and passion for amateur athletics became something terrible. I demand that you apologise to those people and do it publicly. You should be ashamed of yourself and you should be using the pages of the Guardian to make amends for that.

When you literally provide hagiography for double murder you tell every violent man on the planet that just becoming trans is enough to be absolved. You invite violence, you undermine trans women and you set the rest of us back decades on dealing with violence. There is NOTHING a premeditated double stabbing is an acceptable warning for. NOTHING.

The problem with #peaktrans

I get why people are saying they are at #peaktrans. It’s hard to keep a focus when you are faced with relentless demands from violent misogynists, who are clearly demonstrating masculinity and misogyny and narcissistic tendencies, and who are threatening violence, carrying it out and then gaslighting. It’s difficult when watching gaslighting of young women, and it’s difficult when contemplating the scale of the problem brewing with the youtube generation of trans children being encouraged to undergo seriously drastic teratments we don’t understand, so adult activists can feel validated. I get it. I feel it. The relentless demands that women silence themselves, censor themselves, do not discuss inequality and erase themselves while governments across the western world roll back our rights. I will not pretend that what is happening is not a direct attack on women and is not what it is. Here is the problem. It’s difficult when you have journalists like Helen Pidd explaining that a double stabbing at an athletics club is an acceptable warning for transphobia and when you see the direct threats of violence and the violent fantasies on #terfisaslur being rewarded in teh GUardian if they result in murder. The violent narcissistic activism you are seeing owes a lot to the prism it is going through, the privileged queer theory, gender theory, lefty media, and it’s NOT the whole story.  On @terfisaslur I know that at least half of those people are NOT trans women. I know because only months before they were using austerity to vent the same violent misogyny, the same people ally themselves to Corbynism for the same reason. I know that many of the thousands of people claiming online that they are now trans and therefore need the right to abuse women, coerce lesbians. and god knows what else,. are not trans women. When this is done, they will move on and they will find another way to vent that. I know that many of these trans activists ARE trans women, but even so it is clear they are male, they are misogynists and what they are seeking is not feminism but to harm women. But you know, not all women are feminists either and trans women are not a homogenous bloc. With activism the loudest are rarely representative. I am at #peaktransactivism. Am not even going to remotely pretend am not,.

Trans women did not just appear to out of the blue. I have had women as friends who are trans for a long  long time. I live in a tiny market town, famous on the trans map only because Lauren Jeska ran here before she tried murdered two people, and LAuren Jeska was free to come out as trans here because trans women are not new here. She was accepted without a second thought. And it’s never been a problem. Not in my living memory here. I know many trans women.

What they are asking for they shouldn’t have to ask for. They shouldn’t have to ask for protections most people take for granted, access to proper healthcare, a bit of protection at work and not to be subject to abuse. They do. They do because their lives are made difficult by being trans. Their lives have always been difficult and somehow miraculously in the last few years it’s got easier, people accepted it a bit more and it became a no brainer that they should have those protections. They are not loud. They are not asking that their identity be the centre of everyone’s universe, they are not asking that women pretend there is no diifference between us or for magical thinking. They are not threatening, they are not coercing or demanding anyone be forced to do anything.

They are just women. Who want what we all want. To get on with stuff, to not get shit, and to not need to fight for everything. Its difficult when your identity places your perspective far away from other peoples. I may not be trans, but I have a huge amount of experience of that. It’s difficult when you don’t quite fit and noone is quite expecting you. And they can’t get a word in edgewise here, they are turned on when they deviate from the script, and they are left voiceless. I had the left turn on me, while austerity fucked me over, I know what that feels like. I have seen how viciously trans activists turn on apostates. Its the mark of a cult.

I get messages from them sometimes. That backlash post resulted in aflurry of emails from trans women scared to speak. I have had to do drastic repair work because being forced into a corner is damaging friendships with people i value. Women I have more in common with than I do with young feminists who think that older women should just shut up and move aside. The reason that post elicited those messages, is these are the people who feel the backlash. These are the people who pay for it when this misogynistic nonsense is over and all these people have found the next way to vent their misogyny.

When you declare #peaktrans because of transactivism it’s not transactivists who pay. It’s these women. Its the physics teacher who was worried about self identification before it became a thing, the administrator who was unemployed for 9 months longer than she should have been because no matter what was said openly she could tell the minute she walked into those interviews they would not hire her. Its the women who are nothing to do with the most vocal and would never dream of seeking to override consent. And it’s these women thrown under a bus by #peaktrans.

I can’t force your perception. I am not asking you to accept biological reality is not real. I am not asking you to give way and accept what is clearly violent narcissistic activism as valid, nor am I expecting you to cease to risk assess or redefine yourself in terms that transactivists approve of. I would ask that you remember that like austerity there is always a difference between activists and reality. That while Owen Jones and Laurie Penny and their bullying mates were vocally using austerity it was real people sat at home starving, in teh family courts, being bullied by the DWP who were not interested in the left. And this is no different. THere is a difference between #peaktrans and #peaktransactivism because when this is done those women still exist and they are still voiceless. It doesn’t help you or me to throw them under a bus. I get why you are probably at #peaktrans. I am certainly at #peaktransactivism. But if we haven’t learned by now there is a difference between the demands of vocal activists with the ear of media. twitter accounts and reality, I don’t know when we will.  I can’t force you to accept something and would have no right to do so, but I don’t think this is a particularly complex thing to understand. When these vocal misogynists have moved on the issue still remains. Gender dysphoria can now be treated and for some people that means they get to live the lives they need to, and it is not in your interests or mine for them to be subject to cruelty or thrown to the wolves.

Why Lesbians are the litmus test in gender identity

I used to live in Hebden Bridge, I think I was living there when this blog began. Its the lesbian capital of the known universe. At four my daughter didnt know the heterosexual, two parent family was the norm and was quite used to friends having one, two, three or even four parents, in a variety of sexes and conurbations. There was a distinct lesbian community which I was not welcome to be part of, and I can tell you that turning up in a lesbian wine bar before your night out, wearing a corset and stilettos will not impress a lesbian community even if those shoes are Fendi. Separatism has always defined lesbian communities because the political history of lesbian is women being abused for not wanting cock. So they make spaces where there will not be people with cocks. Or people giving them shit. These spaces are hard to maintain. The ultimate rejection of men and male systems so men spend a lot of time trying to gain entry to, or undermining them,. Lesbians are(by and large) not rejecting cock because of a choice, its because they can’t be attracted to it because they are lesbians. Women are entitled to define their sexual boundaries and i think we are all clear that homosexuality is a thing. Not a choice, a lifestyle, or a genetic deformity.

Right now being a lesbian and stating this will get you abuse, threats and sexual coercion. We have men like Riley J Dennis using bastardised gender theory and the rights of trans women to publish videos about sexual coercion of lesbians, shaming them and claiming academic justification. This has taken hold on campuses and is being aimed at young impressionable women just starting university and is being described as feminism. Using intersectionality, queer theory and gender theory to do so.

Twitter is full of accounts abusing women for defining their sexual boundaries and preference and claiming this is a mutable boundary that can change it cannot. Lesbians are a problem for some trans women, because no matter how the internal identity of a trans women is constructed, no matter how much their appearance suggests it, they cannot feign an attraction. Those trans women who identify with women, know sexual abuse and rape is part of what women face and would not add to that. Thats why they are women. To be a trans woman and be attracted to women is to understand that straight women may want to have sex with you, but lesbian women will not. To set yourself up as a trans lesbian is to set yourself up for either a lifetime of rejection or to set yourself up as someone who is going to abuse lesbians.

Narcissists and abusive males, sexual predators do not understand why women can have boundaries. People who identify as women and with women know that sexual coercion and rape has defined thousands of years of subjugation of women, and is at the core of the inequality that all those living as women experience. Patriarchy thinks women are there to fuck and want our reproductive labour, some men are unable to process that women are allowed boundaries. These men are commonly known as dangerous.

When lesbians say to a misogynist, homophobic narcissist who doesnt know women are people, I don’t want to fuck you, they face rage. This manifests in corrective rape, assault, murder. When that person feels that lesbian is there to validate their identity as a woman they experience narcissistic rage. Rage that they are rejecting the right to fuck them. Lesbians are being told routinely that their failure to fuck, or want to fuck trans women is denying those women something. It is not. Jane Fae regularly writes about why the law needs to recognise that trans women’s need to be validated is more important than the boundaries women have fought for for years and why they should be overcome and their should be a legal basis. THis is published in mainstream publications. Its now routineto abuse lesbians and to see overcoming their sexual boundaries as a right. Type girldick, terf, lesbian into a search box on twitter you will find hundreds of people claiming that trans rights demand validation in the form of sex from women who could not possibly be attracted to them. You can watch Riley J Dennis explain how to sexually coerce impressionable young women and somehow or other feminism has become so distorted by gender studies and queer theory that intersectionality is being used to justify sexual abuse. One day sexual coercion will be a crime and we will look at the videos of men like Riley J Dennis as a case study in the manipulation of predatory sexual abusers.

Sexual abuse, predation and rape that women know to identify in men, apparently they should not acknowledge if that person says they are a female. It isn’t that sexually coercing a lesbian marks you out as a man, it does, it’s that it marks you out as a dangerous man. A sexual predator, someone who sexually abuses people and poses a risk. Someone who probably needs prison. This is not new. This is not about feminism. This is not complicated. This is not something invented to invalidate trans women’s identities, and nor do women fight for the right to undo the right to bodily autonomy, sexual preference of other women, knowing full well the way rape and sexual abuse defines the female landscape.

What is deeply concerning is that now merely stating you a re a lesbian will result in abuse. Real threats of violence, harm, rape, doxxing and a myriad of other things., It is now acceptable to be a trans man but not a lesbian. Which might have something to do wth the contagion in young women presenting as gender dysphoric. It is now preferable for young  women to engage in a lifetime of hormone treatments and surgery, than live as who they are and express a sexual preference.

We have gone down the rabbit hole but nothing has changed. Being a lesbian is still female person attracted to a  female bodied person, the word lesbian still means ‘doesnt like cock’. Sexual coercion is still abusive. It is still an indicator that someone is dangerous and a predator and it is still very like that someone is a male. It is for this reason self identification is a problem. And it is THIS that presents difficulty when discussing gender segregated spaces. There is no obligation on lesbians to admit people who not lesbians to their spaces, this is their choice, it is not up for debate unless you have a wish to override their consent in which case you are the reason for that space.

If you think that overcoming the objections of lesbians to cock is your right, you are not just stating you are a bloke, that you are not a woman, you are stating clearly you are a risk to women. It is good that you do this openly. The political history of lesbianism is still women getting shit for not wanting cock. The ultimate rejection of patriarchy. Lesbians are always the litmus test for who is a misogynist and who is not. And it seems lesbians are the litmus test within the debate about trans men and women. No matter how you identify, no matter how long you are a woman, if you are not a female  bodied woman naturally, a lesbian is not going to want to fuck you. She will not, can not recognise you as that. The definition does not change.  If you think this is violence you need to see a psychiatrist and stay away from women until the risk you pose has passed, and the least important question at stake is whether you identify as a woman. Trans men, lesbians will fuck.

If you are a trans woman and you are lucky enough to find a bisexual who is mostly lesbian but is attracted to you that is lovely, enjoy each other, be happy. But the definition of lesbian does not change. Those who believe their inner identity changes other peoples reality are narcissists and dangerous, those who wish to overcome boundaries and coerce women into sex are still dangerous.

Identifying as a woman means identifying with women and not being part of the sexual abuse that defines womanhood. When you present as a risk of sexual abuse, women will risk assess and you will cease to pass as a woman. This boundary will not change, cannot be debated and anyone battering their head against it claiming it is about trans rights is threatening trans women as well as lesbians and demonstrating they are dangerous. But they won’t succeed because it’s not possible to change the sexual orientation of lesbians by argument, coercion, or force, and attempts to do so will mark you out as dangerous.

I am, despite my repeated rejections of the label, a feminist. My entire being is about supporting women, trans women, lesbians, all women. Girls, and the children taht women are responsible for. When you try to coerce lesbians into sex you are telling me you are a risk to women, and I am under no obligation after that point to treat you as a woman. I don’t have to risk asses with women. That’s the difference between women and men.

Crowdfunder update

Labour have clearly taken legal advice and been told they are required to use the legal definition of trans, with all women shortlists. The crowdfunder which was the trigger for them being forced to adhere to the law, is no longer necessary. Justifying its establishment. The women behind the crowdfunder, who were doing nothing more than raising money to ask Labour to adhere at least notionally to what is already pissweak law are now being villified by a misogynist political culture.

The legal principle at the heart of this could never have been contested. There was no way a legal challenge which would discriminate against trans women would have succeeded. The names of those involved in the crowdfunder are being reported to the Labour compliance unit, to have those women expelled from Labour. A party where the leader, shadow chancellor, and their internet army have used mob tactics to literally aggravate national instability, and demand the government be overthrown condemns women organising, to raise money, to ask a question be settled in a courtroom that could have been settled had Labour taken proper legal advice and not lived by twitter. Labour view women raising money to take a case to a courtroom to be tested that should not needt o be taken to courtoom, as abhorrent. Sending a mob to intimidate MPs, hold a country to ransom, threatening female MPs is fine, but women asking that the rule of law apply is not. If I were a woman in Labour right now, I would be tearing up my card and calling it a day. Really. They are screwed.

This is harmful to trans women. And every other woman for that matter.

Being gender critical and understanding the gender binary cant just disappear when the world is shaped by gender inequality is not harming trans women, or asking that feminism exclude them. Conflating the protections needed by trans women, with racism, sexually abusive behaviour and misogyny is. THIS is what threatens to undo ALL the gains trans women have fought for. THIS. THis is racist, sexually abusive misogyny, there is no otehr word for it. Its a racist male, discussing his right to sexually coerce lesbians and has nothing to do with anything but that. This is why self identify is a problem. Women have learned over generations to stand up to abuse from men, and it is men like this who think that identifying as a woman means we will no longer treat sexual coercion as what it is. THIS, and its acceptance as feminism among distorted media and academic organisations is at the crux of the problem and it is acceptance of this that means every misogynist and festishist with a twitter account sees trans women as a door to use to harm women. Standing up to this is not transphobia, its the ability to identify abuse, sexual coercion and racism. It is a testament to how far down the rabbit hole of queer theory, gender theory and lefty media, that THIS is acceptable to say publicly and siomeone will say it is feminism.

racistshit

Intersectionality- what it is, what it is, why it’s been debased.

So about two decades ago a black legal scholar called Kimberle Crenshaw articulated the concept of intersectionality. She was describing legal fictions that were created that said you could be discriminated against on teh grounds of race, gender, but which did not recognise the intersection of these so when you experienced oppression on the grounds of both, you were denied legal help. A british legal academic did similar in a critique of the 1975 Sex Discrimination Act, Nicola Lacey. They were both describing a real and tangible problem which was seen in legal practice, both used actual cases to describe this. One involved General Motors, Lacey used Alders Department Store. Intersectionality is a recent buzzword which surprised me because I have been using the concept for a long time. Social work is the services that address violence and harm which exist at this intersection, and have evolved around power, abuse and violence. Intersectionality is at the core of social work tehory world wide.

Now the starting point for intersectionality is reflection. Reflection on your own complex identity, the way it impacts how you see the world, how the power you are exercising impacts a situation. It requires you understand you are not separate from the issue you are discussing and could be reinforcing harm, even when you mean well. I didn’t understand how intersectionality had become a buzzword till I got to LSE. I had seen vacuous misogynists like Laurie Penny, and her mates, use it as another excuse to bully and harass women, and was stunned that they had appropriated and misunderstood this. I got to LSE and I found out why. The reason you need inntersectionality in social work is you need to understand how all these different systems are intersecting to create the violence, actual violence and abuse, you are reflecting on daily. The poverty, the statutory intervention, the gaps in law and institutional mandates, the human power relations, the context, your role in exercising and mitigating the power of the state and the potential you have to really cause damage. It requires constant reflection. This blog is an extension of the reflective habits I picked up. I need a tool to constantly reflect on how my perspective is changing and how i view the world is changing.

At LSE I realised this concept had been picked up by very very privileged young women doing bullshit gender theory, queer theory degrees before they move onto privileged lives and they had basically taken this important concept and put it at the centre of narcissistic word salad, while they study expensive degrees that set them up to take on jobs where they will never have to consider the impact of what they do. At thecore of intersectionality is an understanding that you have to reflect on the unintended consequences of what you do, the dangers of identifying yourself as inherently good and a saviour and how much harm that does. The ‘identify as’ narcissistic posh activists through which most discussion of feminism has to go through cannot do this and will not.

The intersection taht Crenshaw described was about systems coming together to erase the inequality which places women at the risk of violence. The lack of legal protection, the oppressive impact of systems which carry the power of the state but the start and end point is that erasure and the violence it enables. Online trans activism has taken this buzzword and used it to justify violent narcissistic misogyny, becauseleft wing media needed that. The left wing media rewarded misogynist activists when they needed to respond to austerity,. Austerity which decimated services for violence against women, which used benefit cuts, dv shelter closures, and legal aid cuts to return women to the 19th century. It is at the core of understanding many of our problems. It requires a multi dimensional understanding of our economhy, and the institutional make up of it, how institutions come together at these intersections around inequality. How that results in violence, and rape, and poverty, in real women and kids lives.

The toxicity of the online trans activism is about this. Its because the narcissistic queer theory/gender studies of privileged young women, and the media they want to be part of is dominating and is the prism we have to view these things through. In fact this concept is important to understand both the inequality that trans women face, the inequality that women face and how they overlap. That actually requires also understanding the differences between us.

Narcissistic abuse is not that. Nor is abuse and harassment in the name of being gender critical. It is here that common ground and difference matter and its going to be vital to understand. I would urge you if you see the word intersectionality to ask yourself whether the author you are reading is reflecting on the power they are exercising, the consequences, or whether they are using it to project an identity as good. I would urge you t seek out the papers by Nicola Lacey and Kimberle Crenshaw and to seek out social work literature, notably Anti-Oppressive Theory and Practice by Lena Dominelli, and to ignore the bollocks spouted on twitter and in the Guardian and New Statesman. Ask yourself i that author has any understanding of poverty, violence, power dynamics and if their use of the word is that. I dont really know what point this post has but I wantedto write it.

Women are being pushed into a corner

I dont often discuss it but I was married to a narcissist, and because of my childhood I have grown up able to recognise abusive relationships, in fact I can spot an abusive reflexc a mile off and name most of them. Narcissistic abuse is where the narcissist sees you as an object in his identity and as you remind him that is not you and that is false, he will attack. He will accuse you of his own behaviour because he cant see you, only his own identitya nd the threat to it you pose by existing as a human being with your own identity. You get the blame for his behaviour, and he cant see the impact. Many women know how to recognise abuse, instinctively we have to. If womanhood is anything beyond biology, it is that. The instinctive ability to risk assess cos noone will protect you.

Trans activism online, through the prism of media is violent narcissistic misogyny. It is abusive fetishists, violent misogynists, concentrating only on attacking women, abusing women and trying to erode women’s rights, and women recognise it. It is media cultures forcing women to say things that are not true with the threat of abuse and pushing for the removal of sex based protections and measures to protect us from violence. Women recognise this. Women have to. I cant pretend that isn’t the case. I can’t pretend that trans activism online is not purely about threatening, abusing, and attacking women’s rights. It is. I can’t pretend that the thousands of of violent disturbed individuals using their twitter accounts to say ‘I am a woman’ are women because they are not. Women do not abuse lesbians for not being attracted to cock, women do not fight to have women coerced into sex, women don’t want other women forced to associate with them, they do not seek to coerce, invade spaces, and demand that women accept abuse and intimidation to validate their identity. Women do not need other women to validate their identity and do not engage in violent misogyny or see other women as a threat to their very existence. That’s masculinity in the raw. Here is the problem. Nor do most trans women. No woman has ever lived a life where they could expect other people’s identity to centre them, the struggle to own your own identity instead of wife, mother, has never been won.

Women are now being pushed. Women who want to support trans women, women who KNOW trans women living and taking the shit daily as women are women, even if they are not female. But then the trans women we know aren’t asking that we subsume who we are, our identity, our rights and abusing us and threatening us with violence. Trans women offline are not demanding that we tell our children they can take on medical treatments they know are lifelong like they are nothing, to address distress, and trans women are not demanding that our children become objects in their identity. They are not demanding that we open ourselves to abuse and violence to make them feel better. Women don’t mix with people who are a risk to their children, we are duty bound not to, and the law is enforced when we do, and the family courts know when we are projecting our identity onto children and harming them. Family courts are used to dealing with narcissistic abuse and recognise it because women are expected to know and be able to do this. It does not hurt us when women discuss the oppression tyhey live and nor does it harm us when women discuss their biology and the way it shapes their lives, just as it does not threaten us to hear about the way in which trans women transition and are made women. If you think that denial of right to sex, a woman saying you are not the centre  of my identity, is the most violent thing you have ever experienced you are a man.

Women who support trans women are being pushed into a corner. We are being told by deranged online activists who are not trans women, but have realised they can use twitter to attack womens rights that our children are fair game, that we should ignore child abuse when it is a trans charity like Mermaids castigated by a High Court judge for child abuse. We are being told that violent misogyny, people fantasising about rape and murder, and people who will clearly state they want to hurt us are to be treated as women. We can’t do that. We are not allowed to do that. Equality legislation for women is barely recognition that equality is contested and is supplemented by systems which protect us from violence and demand we protect our children. Equality legislation can impact how we are treated but does not impact our perception. Trans activists online are telling us that their rights demand that our perception is now covered by law. It is not.

They are demanding that we pretend gender inequality which leaves trans women at risk of violence, poverty, unemployment does not exist and it is the fault of women and we are being told we are responsible for violence agianst trans women which is all committed by men. We are told that if we cannot validate someones identity that is an act of violence which merits a violent response. Womens words have always been treated as violence, with an actual violent response becoming necessary if we cease to be objects in someones identity.  We are being told online that behaviour patterns which in a relationship would indicate you and your children are in danger are feminism and it is this that is the biggest threat to the progress trans women have made. It is this that means that the tarns women we know who are women, who are made women by being treated like shit in a society which hates women, will be thrown under a bus.

Media outlets like the Guardian and New Statesman, and the elite left want their own violent misogyny validated and are trying to present it as rights for trans women, and women all over the country are bridling and saying actually this is crazy. Women who reject abusive narcissistic abuse are being told that rejection of this is rejection of trans women. No. Women rejecting this and refusing to conflate this with the needs of trans women suffering deep inequality are standing with trans women. It is this violent misogyny that is at the root of the backlash that will undo ALL the gains trans women have made in the last decades.

Even if privileged young women who hae never experienced violence and abuse will fall into patterns of narcissistic abuse a considerable proportion of women who have had to escape abuse, survive abuse and control CANNOT accept this and instinctively recognise it. The key difference between men and women beyond biology is violence and poewr and women recognise these dynamics instinctively. The chucking of trans women under a bus and conflation of trans rights with child abuse, narcissistic abuse and stripping away of womens rights is throwing trans women under a bus. It is forcing teh hand of women and forcing an objection which is entirely being felt by the wrong people. I will not be part of throwing trans women under a bus but I will not accept narcissistic abuse dressed up as feminism either. Something has to give soon. This toxicity is harming real people, people who just want to live their lives. It is damaging friendships, it is damaging any chance of trans women having rights in teh future and it is damaging womens rights now. THere needs to be more light and less heat but taht is looking increasingly unlikely as everything has to go through the prism of misogynists like the left media and guardian.

A bomb is ticking with children, youtube videos glossing over how harmful plastic surgery and hormone treatments are, are telling children they can end puberty, have cosmentic surgery and their distress will be eased, the children at the centre of this with popular youtube videos are being given validation that this is ok. Parents are bridling and worried and should be, because their responsibilities are clear. I don;t know where this goes. Its getting more toxic by the day. I will not be part of throwing trans women under a bus, but that does not mean I can accept the violent narcissistic misogyny and narcissistic rage trans activism presents as valid. It is not.  THis is pushing women into a corner where they have to say violent narcissistic misogyny which harms them is not acceptable and are being told when they do so it is transphobia. Directly we are being forced to throw trans women under a bus. I will not be part of throwing trans women under a bus but I will not accept what is going on online as anything but narcissistic abuse. I wouldn’t accept it off a prospective partner, I would not accept it near my child, I will not call it feminism or conflate it with rights of women I know are suffering inequality which is very similar to that that I live.

Sex work is work…

So I started today listening to Fiona Broadfoot on Radio4. She is part of the legal challenge to prevent criminal records of those who have been prostituted as children, being used against them for teh rest of their lives. It’s difficult for me to talk about trafficking, cleaning up industrialised child rape when I wanted a job helping children took a long time to get over. I didn’t know about the ‘sex positive’ ‘sex work is work’ ‘trafficking is a myth’ posh feminism which exists in elite institutions. I had never imagined that someone describing themselves as a feminist would deliberately obscure the harm thath is done to women, or the way that the sex industry feeds off my peers and women like me. I was shocked to see privileged and wealthy media women shouting down child trafficiking survivors, saying it was a myth and repeating mantras like ‘rights not rescue’, while dismissing anyone discussing that harm as a SWERF. Well, you couldn’t imagine that anyone would do that to these girls. It’s difficult to accept that women with privilege you will never know, would actively encourage taht harm to young women. Paris Lees, telling teh world that her womanhood is loving sexual harassment and declaring that as an old pro she knows sex workers rights demand this.

Margaret Corvid, a woman with affluenza who spanks people so she can write it in the Guardian used to write for political magazines trying to cut services for these girls, showing that the trafficking that takes childhoods and adulthoods is a myth. It’s hard to accept that these women will throw the most vulnerable women in the world under a bus to protect sex buyers rights to abuse. I think you should listen to Fiona, and understand that in the period since she was exploited the erosion of protective services allowed this exploitation to become a major industry. Take a moment to ask why my peers from the Looked After System are always the bodies ’empowered’ by this. Watch how ‘sex positive’ feminists shout down women who have faced more harm than they could image, screeching SWERF to silence them and realise that this version of misogyny packaged as feminism has a cost. A real cost. It services to silence women like Fiona. You’ll notice these prominent ‘activists’ were not there for this challenge, were not there to support it, while in the next few days many will hitch to this bandwagon.

The SWERF/TERF misogyny and abuse is not harmless. It’s about silencing and harming women so they can be harmed. And the privileged women screeching that their feminist identities are harmed by this brutal reality, are happy for those women to pay the price.  Like the austerith these women used, like teh attempt remove women’s rights, silencing these women has a consequence. It’s not harmless, it’s not abstract, when women are silenced anything can be done to them. This has to end. Its a shame that the first barrier to this is the hyper privileged media feminists who have made their livings selling deliberate lies about happy hookers to fill the Guardian, New Statesman and their twitter accounts. Its not sex, its not work, and in a world where the jobcentre can mandate your time for anything considered work, its throwing the poorest, teh youngest, and women of colour to be raped and harmed, so that you can please the media organisations staffed by blokes who want to pretend that their right to purchase and use female bodies is empowerment and employment.

A call to arms

What happened with austerity was this. The Laurie Penny’s, Owen Jones, Novara Oxbridge proletariat, once they had used people and got their career boost, threw those people aside. While system failure kicked in. This will happen once the trans backlash means this issue has no more mileage. It is up to women to make sure that trans women are not thrown aside, and the gains that they made binned, because of what is now happening. It is actually up to us women to stand together when this is over and to reject the misogyny and make sure the bathwater is not thrown out with the baby and people who were asking for nothig more than a bit of protection, acceptance and respect and a normal life are not thrown with it. We all know how the backlash works in feminism, we live it, we know what it is when the posh activists have fed on people and what that looks like. It is up to us to make sure this does not happen. To not get lost in bullshit internet tribalism and lose sight of humanity. I have no wish to make the lives of women already facing huge barriers more difficult, my uterus is not the only thing that makes me a woman. I have more in common with older trans women than I do with young feminists, because our experiences are more similar. There needs to be middle ground, more light less heat and as per usual it falls to women to make sure this happens and when the bathwater is thrown out the baby doesnt go with it. The gender binary disappearing is good for all of us. The gender binary disappearing before inequality did was going to cause problems. We have to look beyond tribal positions and not lose sight of that.