What the Labour Party did this summer.

Well, after we all got over the ‘betrayal’ of Labour retaining the position they have retained for decades, and them remaining true to their values of valuing the hardworking by transforming our entire political economy around market orthodoxy for finance…things got exciting.

Labour promised us an interminably long and drawn out leadership contest where nothing would change, as a reward for people deciding they were not fit to govern at the election in May. They served up a fine selection of ex-identispads and then someone had the fucking brilliant idea of Jeremy Corbyn standing for leader so the left could pretend Labour was still their party, and would continue to deliver leaflets and abuse people on their behalf.

Then it turned out that people rather liked the idea of an alternative and out of fucking nowhere hundreds of thousands of people said they were willing to give Labour another go and registered to vote for him. Labour accidentally managed to overcome the problem of democratic legitimacy in a digital age and hit upon a subscription model for their party, any any rational person would have assumed they would be pleased.

Then the implosion began.

The Labour establishment lost their shit. Completely.

Every grandee was rolled out to explain why Jeremy Corbyn was the first horseman of the apocolypse. The entire party establishment came out to explain to the fucknuts who spend their lives telling everyone there is no alternative to Labour, that they had been correct but there was no potential for Labour to move beyond market orthodoxy.

Then Labour responded to thousands of new members, who are clearly not the toxic twitter bubble, with a massive purge. Calling them 3quid trots, hard left infiltrators and an entryist threat. Teams of people going through everything anyone has ever written or published, like the thought police. Demonstrating clearly how socialist discipline is used to protect finance. They do not understand the concept of needing to attract NEW supporters and to take them from other parties to win elections. Combing through the lives of potential voters like they were looking for thought crime while telling the base of their party that they are despised.

The rest of us got to watch Labour cast the twitterbubble who had been responsible for preventing the discusson of political consensus for five years of austerity, adrift. While screaming hysterically at it and finally finding something Gordon Brown and Tony Blair could agree on.

The bubble of fucknuts who spent the last five years insisting to social care users, people on benefits, there was no alternative to Labour have not noticed they have been shown to be liars.

The election result twitter could never have told them to expect hasnt taught these people a thing and the new Labour faction, now called Corbynites, lost their shit too. And the Labour establishment and the Corbynites losing their shit, didnt realise that the rest of us were watching them spew bile at each other. Mostly we are grateful they are not united in spewing it at us.

What has been really lovely about watching the meltdown is that the Guardian have admitted that yes, they do view objectivity as party disloyalty and have been managing media narratives according to Labour’s needs for years. I thought this was useful.

It has been really lovely watching Guardian columnists and Labour politicos explain to us why it is that democracy and the parameters of political debate can only be defined by them, over the sound of the Overton window they invented smashing. I hadnt realised that we were now openly admitting that a paper run using a trust fund, ARE democracy….all useful to witness when you are wondering how what happened to journalism in the UK.

The Corbynites for their part have been very generous in demonstrating how dangerous twittertalitarianism is, and have been letting us all see how their toxic factionalism and inabilty to tell right from wrong protected the Labour Party all these years. They are now busy trying to tell us that they are the rightful dictators of the UK and anyone who disagrees is going to a gulag.

Corbyn seems like a rather reasonable man. The deranged media left kidnapped a nice man in a cardigan so he could be a lightning rod for the stupid and demonstrate how they fulfil the function of hermetic seal around a media democracy. Instead of the myriad of economists out there, Corbyn has chosen an ex tax accountant and twitterati to masquerade as an economist and quite frankly its not worth analysing Corbyns foreign or economic policy, because his biggest problem is the lefty bubble that is sustaining him. That tax accountant is threatening to sue people who discuss what he says.

Open warfare has broken out within this culture, the party, and their newspapers, but luckily they all live on twitter, so its quite contained. Do not approach the factions of this culture for you risk injury.

The hundreds of thousands of people who rejoined Labour to vote for their leader are wondering what the fuck they have done, and I confidently predict that 2025 might be Labour’s 1992. If they are lucky enough to survive.


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