Plea to the makers of Doctor Who

Dear makers of Doctor Who,

I would be a very good sidekick. I am lots of fun to travel with and can provide several thousand photos, and many interesting if odd souvenirs to prove this. I am very good at swearing, if Peter Capaldi becomes the new Doctor, this will be a bonus.

Here is my idea for a Doctor Who series with me in it.

Doctor Who: Revolution

Each episode the sweary Doctor and I visit a new planet, and participate in, facilitate, or assist with a revolution. With each revolution my understanding of social change evolves, and eventually the Doctor and I return to the UK a week before the election, take out the WHOLE political class in one swoop and the world goes back to normal….

The final episode will be a killer, and my friend will help with wardrobe.

Please consider my application, I would be a very good assistant,

Yours Truly,