It is useful

While it has been painful to be on the receiving end of it has been spectacularly useful to see how the reformation of the political spectrum within a social movement requires abuse of women and kids to prevent discussion of consensus. THat it was a movement about these systems is extraordinarily useful. Left immediately resorted to using trans rights activists, reproducing their own social network and attempting to control women with that assertion of power, its useful to know they cant deviate. That its narcissism and protection of identity and won’t deviate. Its not really new but it is useful to have anoyther confirmation. The speed at which it occurred is interesting, as well as the role denial of power, and protection of identity played. One day this will all be useful. Its just a shame the price I had to pay was so high.

 

Demanding to have harmful behaviour remain unspoken

Is a demand to be allowed to abuse with impunity. Demanding the right to harm someone for describing your behaviour is an admission. Escalating and treating distress as personal injury is an admission. This is all understood. That’s the thing when political media figures use social movements to attach themselves to vulnerable people and demand their behaviour in harming them be unspoken, its an admission and an explanation of the power dynamics that figure feels exist. Social media added a social dimension to political communication and they had to say so. While reliably reproducing their identity simultaneously. It works as a stabiliser in a traditional media environment, with social media it just exposes dysfunction, abusing relations and demonstrates that media figure believes their identity trumps the rule of law itself.

Abusive behaviour is largely just variations onm a very predictable theme. Subordination allows abuse. Silence as a demand is interesting.

You are not allowed to challenge this behaviour or describe it? That’s them telling you and everyone else who they are and how they expect to treat people.

Still this shit is only new to political media types. Their landscape change and they thought abuse of vulnerable people would hide them from reality/ NO.

On the bright side…

FOr the first time in their lives POsie Parker, Joani Walshi, Caroline Farrow and Karen Ingala Smith did something for women. They demonstrated how abuse and harm to silence women is required for the left/right political spectrum to form. THat their entire political identity is dependent on their ability to harm and silence women and they don’t have any identity beyond it. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve known this for years and years and years, but they demonstrated it in the chatroom our political media went into to die and because they used the movement about these systems they have done something wonderful. Its because left and right are about adult identities, and left and right will always be threatened by the rule of law in this area and women speaking. Its why Posie and JOani need to terrorise women to sell the lie that Tommy Robinson and his thugs need to be allowed to exploit child rape victims, its necessary so Karen and her friends can pretend they were not part of the consensus they identify as opposing. We already knew it, it was guaranteed. They didn’t. But bog standard narcissists and psychopaths rarely know much beyond their own identity do they? And Posie and Karen have shown where trans rights activism came from. Its all just bog standard narcissism. Dull and predictable, reproduces reliably in a media focused polity.

We have system failure across our welfare system, local authorities and safeguarding, this means that during this system failure, we can recognise that that marginalisation reproduces reliably. Even in the movement around these specific systems. And we can demonstrate not only the reflex in policy but the narcissistic abusive reflex in media cultures which has driven it. That’s pretty impressive stuff. Say thank you to them, its a rarity that these women do something which benefits other women and doesn’t seek to harm them. I’d watch that tribalism go nuts and avoid it at all costs and be grateful they did it in a contained environmenjt and it was only some single mum you don’t know they harmed this time.

I wish to be clear

I will not be seeking harassment warnings I will be seeking prosecutions, and I will be following it up with civil action against organisations who made me a target. I will not retrning to social media. It has served its purpose. The chatroom where political media went to die while the country was thrown over a cliff. A window into their dysfunction and how things got so bad.

Advice

Never mirror a narcissist, let them shout loud, let them accuse you loudly and tell everyone what they are, and let them demonstrate. They will. YOu need to get out of their theatre and let them. And not be afraid to say I do not exist to manage your identity and I see nothing of myself reflected in you.

 

Defamation

If you were told between November of last year and now by someone, that I bullied a known internet fantasist, and you were told in writing, you were party to a criminal campaign of harassment that is in its 10th year.

While I am very ill and it is taking time, I will at some point post a police contact so you can send them the information about it. At that point if you could let the police know you believe I was bullying this woman, I would be grateful.

Guidance

If a political media figure wishes to deal with defamatory material, ie untrue, malicious, has capacity to harm, there are legal remedies available. THat list of  legal remedies does not include having BBC producers demand someone not be published, bolstering dangerous activists at a moment of extreme vulnerability and then seeking out distress you have caused and presenting it to the police as harassment, then asking the police to escalate. It certainly does not include making a document you know to be central to managing PTSD centre of a criminal investigation because the distress being processed is as a consequence of behaviour you are ashamed of. Defamation is inadequate when the material is true and written to manage material risk, this does not mean you can use illegal means and harassment to demand behaviour you are ashamed of remains unspoken. The CEO of an abuse charity cannot do this and claim she was unaware of the impact.

On the 28th March I had to sleep in St.Pancras station, because the Metropolitan Police wanted me there by 10am to discuss my harassment of Karen Ingala Smith. On the morning of the 28th March my PTSD was so bad I couldnt answer the phone and I still had to walk out of Euston at 11pm into the night. I had had little to no contact with social media since NOvember, had PTSD symptoms so serious I could not touch a laptop or smartphone at that point and had had two contacts with Ms.Ingala Smith I was aware of. One inviting her to speak at Correcting a Blindspot, the other trying to maker her aware of the connection between our welfare system and abuse in the fifth year of austerity, the analysis the House of Lords meeting she hosted said had not been done.

I had to do without money and power for the next week because of the cost of the train ticket, I was already malnourished. you can see on youtube how emaciated I am, I haven’t been allowed to begin to recover. I am lucky I had somewhere I could send my daughter for the next few days because of the state I was in never mind the lack of food in the cupboards. A ticket to get me there by 10am would have been 300quid. I had to borrow money for a solicitor, the police didn’t care if I had one and am sure Karen was banking on me having no access to one, while the police treated my distress with hostility. They couldn’t hear me because Karen had spoken and inequality meant they wouldn’t, they did eventually, cos the law is still the law and the law applies to me and to Karen.

I had to borrow money to eat and my daughter had to go elsewhere because of the state I was in and the lack of anything in our cupboards for the rest of the week. I broke down in Walthamstow bus  station and a bus station employee had to escort me to the police station. There was a 999 call. I barely made it home safely and had 2quid on my Oyster to get me to Euston because I had fallen asleep earlier that morning, because I had had to be awake all night in St,Pancras. I still had to go to parents evening when I got home. I had holes in my shoes and was made unemployable by her harassment warning. Which no longer stands. Unfortunately I cant leave the house or answer the phone and now have to force myself to use the computer to get o the point where I can again. We were only connected by me being targeted by activists in the Labour Party.

This was not a legal means to suppress written material which is what Karen wanted. She wanted the power to behave harmfully to me and to have that behaviour remain unspoken and she genuinely believed not only did she have that power but that I was harassing her by trying to process my distress in isolation. She knew the defamation which was widespread in November came with a local risk. This was a Labour media figure demonstrating why protection of identity drives crisis. I absorb the consequences by being unable to leave my house, answer the phone and this is the first week I have been able to touch a laptop in quite a while.

Abusive men, often driven by narcissistic impulse seek to have their victims treated as defaming them because their identity is injured by someone saying their behaviour was harmful. Its another example of how protection of identity drives crisis. It leads them to behave harmfully and often this is where most harm is done, as the abuser tries to eliminate threats to their identity created by distress their behaviour repeats over and over like whack a mole around their victim. They often place incidents related to trauma central to official intervention in the hope a trauma response will harm their victims credibility.

It creates patterns of harm as the abuser tries to eliminate the threat to their identity. Its why practitioners with abuse know that reflection on the limitations of perspective and the power you have is the only way to work safely. THis has been understood for decades. By people qualified to work with abuse and with an understanding if the issues at stake. Karen was offended by this notion. 

I told the police my blog had 2 readers at that point and demonstrated that I had not been online at all, could not at that point touch a phone or laptop, had been traumatised for months and had had no contact with activism or social media since November. MY distress was being used to evidence the need for my further abuse. I pointed out that the descriptions of the behaviour they offered matched Karen Ingala Smiths but that mine could not possibly have mirrored it in the period discussed. I had no capacity to even touch a computer some days. But a posh media feminist had said she felt harassed and marginalisation reproduces across systems. They believed some things which were definitely not true. Quite a lot of things.

Ms.Ingala Smith had requested to follow my blog after obtaining a harassment warning and then used distress caused by her actions to evidence demands that police escalate on her behalf. Seeking out distress you have caused to claim injury by it is disturbing behaviour, using that distress to escalate your campaign is an understood pattern and serious.

Karen acted by reflex to protect identity. A reflex always tells you more about a system than a person. THis one certainly did.

The practice of Labour media figures attaching themselves to vulnerable and marginalised people because they identify as feminists, socialists, and then harming those people because reality injures that identity is to cease. Owen Jones, Corbynism and now Karen and her friends, its got to stop. When you are endangering children, acting unlawfully and engaged in harassment of the poorest people in the country becauer you used twitter to place yourself in competition with, its not ideological, its pathological. We are not responsible for managing your twitter id with our children’s safety.

This is the tweets where Karen Ingala Smith bolstered trans rights activists and tried to isolate me in dealing with them:

THis is the only tweets Karen could have been referring to.

https://idgeofreason.wordpress.com/2015/07/09/karen-ingala-smith/

The week before Karen bolstered trans rights activists to isolate me, I had been at the House of Lords meeting where TWO speakers confirmed the need to address failure to understand the links between our welfare system, male violence and systems dealing with abuse. That I had made her aware of and been abused as a consequence of. Karen hosted that meeting. It was a Woman’s Place meeting. My daughter was there. A week later Karen tried to isolate us into being unable to deal with risk of TRAs, and has continued to do that for months. I thank Karen for showing why that analysis had never happened and what happened to women who tried. I don’t ever want to have to tell my daughter what became of that special day out.

I spent the night in St.Pancras station as punishment for trying to discuss what that House of Lords meeting said had never been examined properly. I thank Karen for her demonstration of why the analysis discussed at the meeting at the House of Lords wasn’t ever done and what happened to women who discussed it. Timely. It is useful to have such a clear demonstration that even in a movement about these systems and that marginalisation, what she demonstrated will reliably reproduce. We need recognition of this, and now is a useful time for it.

The only other contact I had had with Karen was inviting her to speak at Correcting a Blindspot, because I held no ill feelings about her previous behaviour to me, and an aside in a video which was kind about why practitioners with abuse routinely reflect on the limitations of their perspective, and the power they have. Karen has just demonstrated why practitioners do this after reacting badly to the suggestion it is necessary. Am not sure counting our corpses for twitter approval ever required that knowledge.

I had been clear in June about why I would not have contact with Karen, outside asking for a retraction of her deliberate bolstering of trans rights activists, had had none. The escalation in her harassment of me is a demonstration that I was correct to severe contact and maintain that completely and state why.

There has always been political consensus on welfare, safeguarding and abuse services. Unbroken. IT will remain the case. They are the systems around marginalisation. That marginalisation reproduces, even in social movements about those systems. Evidently. Its why we have the rule of law and people trained to know this stuff. Social movements are useful for highlighting distribution of political resources and that is definitely true in this case. THat Labour have been screeching at themselves that this is not the case for nine years in a chatroom says a great deal about those people.

I am not connected to political media figures and the practice of Labour media figures attaching themselves to vulnerable people in the name of feminism and socialism, announcing their control over political resources, and then harming them out of shame at their own positions is to cease.

Its not my fault there has always been political consensus  on welfare, social care, safeguarding and the systems around marginalisation. It has always been the case. It was the case under Corbyn, Blair, Thatcher, and everyone who went before or will come after. In these periods we should be reviewing the rule of law and learning in those systems as we end one cycle and begin another. This is not known at an elite level. Karen has demonstrated why.

I was trained under a Labour government to know this. I was trained to be the site of political responsibility for those systems. Twitter revealing that most Labour people don’t know this has been a shock. It did explain the state of those systems. That our trade unions abused us for discussing it and Labour sent out posh boy Corbynites to terrorise us into not mentioning it has been shocking. Ten years of abuse from a political media culture, after being set up as a target because I was poor and needed to discuss austerity, is not ok. Ten years of abuse because Labour people don’t know this about those systems is disgusting. Its not my fault Labour have spent the last ten years in circles on twitter abusing people to tell us all they did not know this. It is not my fault Labour wished to be seen as opposing something they could not have opposed. I really had no control over that. Labour did. I bypassed them and corrected what they could not see and went to my MP. THat was the culmination of 9 years work. This STILL happened to me. Because reasons. I do not have to remain silent when this occurs, I have a responsibility to call it what it is.

Triangulation cannot be achieved by narcissistic abuse now that political communication has a social dimension. That Labour media figures are still behaving this way in social movements about those systems in 2019 and are still only able to reproduce their own identity, suggest no capacity for change and they should be treated as a risk. Twitter is certainly not safe as long as they are using it. Ms.Ingala Smith is certainly not safe to be anywhere near and it is her belief that this is her right that indicates how dangerous she is, not the lengths she has gone to to make it her right. I don’t know how to tell my daughter that the woman organising that meeting in the House of Lords has done this. It was one of the most special days of her life. Watching women win, in the House of Lords, after seeing what we had had to stand up to.

I am too ill to use social media, I may not recover from this. I was already physically frail and barely coping with PTSD as well as poverty. That was November. Its now May. Karen didn’t do this alone, she knew who she could harm with impunity and she could. For a time.

Women’s right to speak? How long did it take for left and right to decide this was about reproduction of their identity? Weeks after the GRA review. Weeks. THis is what it always took for Karen and her friends to reproduce their social circle and political identity in everything they touched. THis is what it always cost people. Social media just makes it visible, that’s why even after the GRA Karen and her friends were reproducing left and right tribalism. To be fair to Karen, Posie and co are the same as she is. I will not be coming near social media again, I had used it to record consensus being upheld, identified what policy makers could not see about these systems and |I went straight to the Tories ages ago. I could do so because women stood up and created a political charge. My work was done..

While I will be using legal means to tackle the harm done to me after I left twitter, . criminal and civil. I also have a responsibility to be clear when someone is not safe to stand with. This post is doing that. Karen was eloquent in her statement to Katie GHose on why this is the responsibility of feminists. Something about me means she believes it should not apply. It does. As does the rule of law.

 

Which women?

Which women paid for the behaviour of our political media culture on twitter? Which women were silenced? These ones.

Single mothers are placed in terrible housing by councils. Then social services muscles in when the family falls apart because of the terrible housing

Here’s more about the ways that authorities keep homeless single mothers and their kids in chaos and under the thumb.

I’ve posted a transcript from a longer interview with Marsha, 30, at the end of this article.

Marsha is a homeless Newham woman who lives with her little daughter in one room in a Newham homelessness hostel.

The two share a bed in this room. They’ve lived in the hostel for more than two years. I’ve written several stories about Marsha’s situation.

In the transcript below, Marsha talks at length about the invasive attention that she has drawn from council social services and her daughter’s school as a homeless single mother.

Social services and her daughter’s school have been on Marsha’s case for a while. They order Marsha to bring her daughter to same-day meetings with social workers, or ring to say she must get to her daughter’s school right away.

There’s not always been time for Marsha to arrange for someone to accompany her to these meetings. That’s a big concern. Marsha has been questioned in detail by authorities about her mental and emotional health, and her daughter’s mental and emotional health. She’s been put on the spot by people she does not know in a system that she can’t trust – often without witnesses, or representation. Women I speak with raise this issue all the time.

The thing is – Marsha IS worried about her daughter’s mental and emotional health, and her own. Bad living conditions and relentless questioning from social services and schools inevitably affect a family’s frame of mind.

Marsha has severe depression and anxiety. She often says that she is concerned her small daughter is being negatively affected by their cramped living space and the social services meddling that the little girl has witnessed. You’d be dreaming if you thought that a child would not be affected by those things.

In the transcript below, Marsha says:

“All of a sudden, [my daughter] is seeing me in a very distressed state, because of everything that I’m going through. These people around here – she is exposed to conversations [which she shouldn’t be]…”

The problem is that Marsha must justify her family’s responses to their living conditions to organisations that hold all the cards.

Marsha is in a situation that a lot of homeless single mothers talk about. She’s been placed in poor housing by public authorities [her council]. Then, she’s been made to answer to public authorities as her family’s health has disintegrated because of the poor housing that the family has been placed in and the lack of decent alternatives. There’s no way to win. Marsha has no power in this scene.

Marsha says she understands that authorities have safeguarding roles – but that doesn’t mean that they’re above cornering women. Most single mothers in poor housing I talk with worry constantly about councils taking their children. That means they’re always on the back foot. There can be no balance in conversations that they have with authorities because of it.

Says Marsha in the transcript:

“…it was totally out of order how the council referred me to social services without even telling me [and insisted that Marsha brought her daughter to a social services meeting]. I even said, “I don’t even know why [my daughter] is there [at the meeting].” [The social worker] said, “No, we just want to see if there is any concerns.”

 

“….I still complied, because I’m thinking the last thing that I want to do is jeopardise myself. So, if [the social worker is] saying that she wants to see me and my daughter, of course I am going to see her [the social worker] … [but] I would never had let [my daughter] sit through these conversations [if I’d known how they would affect her]. If I could have called my mother and say, “could you hold [my daughter] for two hours while I have a conversation with this lady [social worker]…”

Women should not be forced to retreat and retreat like this.

—–

Transcript

In the longer interview transcript below, Marsha talks about a call she received from her daughter’s school earlier this year.

The school rang and said Marsha had to get to the school right away.

Marsha hurried to the school: “My heart starts…racing now. I am like, “what’s going on? What’s wrong with [my daughter]?” I mean – [it’s] my worst fear.”

It seemed that there were several problems. Marsha’s daughter had told the school that she was upset about the way a social worker had spoken to her mother at a meeting that Marsha and her daughter had to attend.

The girl also told the school that she made her own breakfast and looked after herself at times. The school took that to mean the child had to fend for herself.

Marsha said that her little girl was never left to make food for herself. Her daughter liked to try and make her own breakfast – with Marsha’s supervision – and to tell people that she could do it. Little kids often like to take the lead in tasks like making breakfast as they become more independent.

Still, Marsha had to explain herself to the school. She had to explain her daughter’s comments about making breakfast. She had to wear her daughter’s distress about their housing conditions and meetings with social workers. She had to address her daughter’s comments about being alone.

Marsha often says that she tries to protect her daughter from her own distress about their housing problems and the social services meetings that she and her child are dragged to. That’s very hard to do when you live in one room with a child:

“I dropped her off to school as normal… I thought everything was okay…[then] the school rang me saying they need to speak to me about something. I said, “okay.”

“[I asked], “what is it in regards to?” They said, “you’ll have to come in.”

“My heart starts…racing now. I am like, “what’s going on? What’s wrong with [my daughter]?” I mean – [it’s] my worst fear. So – I’m going up to the school. I was met by the lady who is called Ms_ [name removed]. I have never been in contact with her before. She says she is the welfare officer…

“She said to me [that she had] some concerns regarding [my daughter].

“I said, “what kind of concerns?”

“She said to me that [my daughter] was in class this morning and she was really upset. She said to her teacher that there was a lady in her house from social services yesterday and the lady was quite mean and she thinks the lady is out to get her mum. So, she was really upset.

“The teacher carried on talking to [my daughter] until she opened up to her teacher. [My daughter] was saying she makes her own breakfast in the morning… that I left her at home to go to college and leave her on her own. At that point, I broke down…

“I was always able to take it on the chin, because I am an adult. I’ve always [been] used to being knocked about, so I am physically… I am used to pain now, but when I saw that it [the social services meetings] was having a negative impact on [my daughter] – honestly, I lost control. I broke down. I was in [the] school. I was very teary. I was crying – [saying] that was totally not true.

“[My daughter] is a very bright child. So many parents have told me how bright she is… she is very advanced for her age… She’s always eager to open conversations and talk and you can ask her anything…

“So – I said with [my daughter] saying that she makes her own breakfast – she is saying that she helps make her own breakfast, because honestly, she is the kind of child that I can’t do anything for…

“I will be like putting on her clothes and she will be like, “no, no, Mummy. I can put on my clothes…I can put on my shoes. I’ll do it.”

“In regards to [the accusation of] me leaving [my daughter] on her own while I’m in college – I’m like, “come on.” [My daughter] is at school in the same hours I’m in college. While I’m in college, [my daughter] is in school. I even go to the extra length to drop [my daughter] off at breakfast club and have her put in after school club.

“I said, “it’s totally ridiculous.” I live in a prison [the homelessness hostel] where there’s [security] guards everywhere. There’s stair marshals that are aware of us. We’ve been living in this block now for coming on three years. I can’t even come onto the stairs without security asking me where is [my daughter]…

“In my heart I was like, “I really need to see my child.” This [meeting at the school] was like 11 o’clock in the morning. I was like, “I really need to see [my daughter]. Imagine how distressed she is at the moment…”

“I went to pick her up in the evening….I said to them, “I am feeling very disappointed and let down,” because I’ve spoken to the school about my [housing] situation that I am experiencing. I’ve asked them for their support. I’ve felt like – even though I knew that they were acting in accordance [with social services legislation] because [my daughter] is 5 years old and if she is making claims, they have to listen to her. Because the last thing that you want to do is ignore a child that is in need…

“But I said to them, “could we put this into context?” [My daughter] has been attending the school for 3 years. She’s never late. Her attendance is 95%. I’ve always picked her up on time. If I can’t go, I will ask a friend of mine, or my mother, every single time… so safeguarding issues regarding [my daughter].

“[My daughter] is a little chatterbox. I have to be wary of what I say and I what I do around her, because she will go to school…I’m aware of that, because I’ve known my child for 5 years. I know what kind of child she is… if [my daughter] had any issues – wouldn’t it have been detected 3 years prior to this? All of a sudden, she’s seeing me in a very distressed state, because of everything that I’m going through. These people around here – she is exposed to conversations [which she shouldn’t be]…

“…it was totally out of order how the council referred me to social services without even telling me [and insisted that Marsha brought her daughter to a social services meeting]. I even said I don’t even know why [my daughter] is there. [The social worker] said, “No, we just want to see if there is any concerns.”

“I didn’t even understand what her role is [the social worker], but I still complied, because I’m thinking the last thing that I want to do is jeopardise myself. So, if [the social worker is] saying that she wants to see me and my daughter, of course I am going to see her …

“…[but] I would never had let [my daughter] sit through these conversations [if I’d known how they would affect her]. If I could have called my mother and say, “could you hold [my daughter] for two hours while I have a conversation with this lady [social worker]…?”

“I’ve spoken to so much professionals and they have said I am like supermum – [they] don’t know how [I] have managed to control [with] so much composure… I am like, “my daughter is my future ahead of everything else… because ultimately, I want to secure a good future for her.”

“When I think about weakness, I can’t let it creep in, because I think – how would that reflect on [my daughter]?

“[My daughter] she said that she wanted to impress them… she said that the lady was like, “Mummy, when I told them that I make my own breakfast, she was like – oh, I am really impressed with you!” So [my daughter] is [trying to] make them even more impressed…

“I said [to my daughter] – “what did you say?” She said, “I told them that I started the microwave and I started my own meal.”

“I said to the lady [the school welfare officer] – “[my daughter] doesn’t have anyone that is 5 years old around her. All her cousins are 14 and 15 and they stay at home on their own. She has that mentality – she wants to do things that they do like she is a teenager…

…”The lady, the welfare officer said, “because she’s made this claim, we have to refer you to MASSH [the multi-agency safeguarding and support hub).” I was like, “oh my god. This is my worst nightmare…” There is this stress for me, because of what they’ve put me through…this has actually opened a can of worms now. What is going on? Oh my god, I really can’t take it any more…

“I said to them, “I’m not going to be held responsible for my child saying something to an adult because she wants to impress them… If you’re trying to question her and ask her why she is upset… ask her why is she trying to impress you…” But anyway, we didn’t need to do that, because the social worker called me up and said, “Massh called me and said that they’re not going to take any further action, because they had spoken to the school and they just needed to put things into context…”

…”It’s just like… now the social worker is saying to me – “maybe you can be mindful of the things that you say around [your daughter] because she is a very smart young lady and she hears everything…”

“I’m like, “What?” She [the social worker] is even saying to me, “can you do extra activities with your daughter.” I said to her – the trouble is being on Universal Credit. I’ve been struggling on Universal Credit. By the end of the month, I’m absolutely broke because of having to spend out of pocket expenses to do everything to maintain myself and my daughter to live a normal life. I’m having to pay out of pocket expenses for breakfast club and after school club just to try to do something with my life [to attend college to become a nurse] to move forward – to try to get a better life for me and my daughter. Now, you’re telling me I need to do extra activities. I am. I try to do extra activities. I go to the library [with my daughter] – everything…”

“I’m like – “oh my god. They’ve twisted [my daughter’s] mind in such a way…she’s seen me very intimidated…sometimes I cry. I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I do cry in front of [my daughter]. If I go into the bathroom and cry, she’s going to open the door and say, “Mummy, why are you in the bathroom crying?” I can’t go into the kitchen and cry because there is no space…

“My phone is going to ring. People [from the school and the council] are going to question me. So – what am I going to do? Go outside? [if I go outside to take calls], the next thing is that [my daughter] is going to say, “mummy left me to go outside to speak.”

“I can’t win. “

What twitter and the dying dead tree press did do…

They illustrated the distribution of political resources and the power dynamics that media cultures believed existed, they exposed a blindness to the rule of law around marginalisation and provided a written demonstration of a tribal mediating class generating instability as a cycle reaches its end because the only function they have is reproduction, broadcast of their own identity. A system which cannot reproduce is done, a political model which cannot reproduce is done, and the delivery system for the belief system we have had for forty years is trapped in a chatroom on twitter unable to reproduce in an environment where there is a social dimension added to political communication/ We are seeing the process of atomisation even with parliament, for te rest of us dissonance has fallen as the power of one way broadcast has changed for good.

Why practitioners with abuse reflect routinely…

You cannot work safely with abuse, which is about power dynamics, without reflecting on the limitations of what you know, and the power you have, if you do you react to them asking you not to harm them by protecting identity. You will bring down all the power you have to that end. We have known this for a very very long time. Practitioners with abuse know this. It is the opposite of media feminism, which lets face it, is psychopathy and projection of an image and harming people to do so. Social movements are useful for highlighting institutional dysfunction and resilience. We have seen for nine years how media cultures reproduce their own identity and place themselves in competition with marginalised people, using social movements, we have seen how routinely narcissistic abuse and risk is generated, and we have seen how they choose who can be harmed openly. The reflection required around marginalisation and abuse is the antithesis of this. We saw with the meeting at the House of Lords that our democratic processes are working, that our institutions work, and that we have failed to assess the links between many systems and power, we also saw how quickly media figures would seek to prevent that discussion, reproduce their identity, and how the reformation of the political spectrum within that movement required abuse and violence of marginalised people. After nine years of austerity this was an invaluable demonstration that women for generations will be grateful for. It was painful to be in the middle of.